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What’s this Pog Drinking Game?
I was searching on Amazon for some items. I’m embarrassed to admit what they were. Okay, I’ll say it. I was looking for Pogs. It’s not what you think! I’m not addicted. I just wanted to bolster my...
View ArticlePat Robinson Knows what Jews Do To Make $$$$
“What is about Jewish people that make (sic) them prosper financially?” asks conservative televangelist and hoverer-near-death Pat Robertson. His answer? Jews don’t fix their cars or mow their lawns,...
View ArticleWhy Does Rhode Island Allow Jewish Uncle-Niece Incest?
I’m from Rhode Island. This means many different things. I like Dell’s Lemonade, coffee milk, and I enjoy the mediocrity of Narragansett Beer (especially their coffee stout). This also means that I, if...
View ArticleWet Hot American Summer is Returning!
Well everyone’s favorite Jewish summer camp is coming back! After years of rumors about a sequel or prequel movie, after learning that everyone is willing to shoot the movie for next to little money...
View ArticleSeth Rogen is a national Jewish treasure
Seth Rogen is always doing nice things. Sometimes he promotes Alzheimer research. Sometimes he acts in movies. Sometimes he gets high with Snoop Dogg and discusses Game of Thrones. Is this not every...
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Kosher Enemas! Yum!
Kosher used to mean something. It used to mean that a Rabbi came over, looked at some food, and was like ‘yeah seems cool’. Then, it meant that a super religious Rabbi had to look at food and check it...
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Rick Perry is super Jewish YOU GUYS
Rick Perry, like many of the Texas governors and presidents before him, loves his Jewish people. He loves them! And by that, I mean he loves the super conservative but wealthy neoconservatives. And by...
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Win Ben Stein’s Sext Money
Ben Stein just wanted to sext with a lady. In a classy way. Don’t worry though, ol’ Ben has a very reasonable argument. “I didn’t expect anything from her. Hugging and kissing doesn’t mean I wanted to...
View Article30 signs Huffpo is Trying too Hard to Woo Cool Moms and Dads
What’s going on today in the life of Hipsters? Oh, just the usual. Someone making another listicle about hipsters. What’s this listicle about? It’s about how your kid is turning into a hipster! LOL!...
View ArticleWin a UFC fight, rejoin the IDF
Noad Lahat, Israeli-American UFC fighter, won a bout yesterday and is returning to Israel to rejoin the IDF. Hey, even the great Red Sox Ted Williams went overseas during WWII. Sounds like my perfect...
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Sour Patch Kids Has Tricked NYC Into Selling Out
This may be the final death blow to all music everywhere. One day in the future we will say “Music, what was that? You mean the noises the iRobot Corporation makes for us so that we can pretend we...
View ArticleIt’s Tough To Be a Jew On the Streets of NYC
We’ve all been there. Walking down the street, or on your college campus. A Chabad Rabbi is smiling way too charistmatically in front of his ‘Sukkah Mobile’ as he asks if you’re Jewish. You do it,...
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Your Child Needs This Hipster Paper Clothes Doll Set
Let’s be real. Your kid owns a lot of stupid, shitty toys. These toys are sold to you (and them) by terrible companies that have zero qualms about advertising to children on their favorite TV shows....
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Sarah Silverman Lights Menorah at the Kotel
Sarah Silverman’s sister, Rabbi Susan Silverman, was arrested at the Western Wall early last year after refusing to remove her prayer shawl. Susan is a member of Women of the Wall, a feminist...
View ArticleChanukah (Shake it Off) Has Over a Million Views?!?!?
If you haven’t read through our archives, we here at Hipsterjew have very strong feelings about parodies. (You have one? Don’t fucking record it. Unless it’s so good that the world will thank you.)...
View ArticleRick Perry dances with Chabad again
Someone really needs to tell him these aren’t the Jews who will give him lots of money and help him win elections. You did this last year Rick and it didn’t win you anything then. Quit while you’re...
View ArticleMensch on the Bench Got ‘Shark Tank’ Money
It’s a Hanukkah Miracle everyone! The Christmas knockoff of a lazy parenting trick, Elf on the Shelf, is now making it’s way to the homes of spoiled Jewish children. While Mensch on the Bench has been...
View ArticleIt’s a McSweeney’s Internet Hanukkah!
Ever wonder what the best and worst Hanukkah films are? Hint: Not the Hebrew Hammer
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Let’s Stop Buying Cheap Chocolate Gelt
Every year I eat gelt. I love it. It’s terrible. Yes, those are two conflicting ideas but it’s how I feel whenever I eat it. Jews are some of the richest and most successful people in the world…there’s...
View ArticleChelsea Handler Hides Her Nipples With the Israeli Flag
Chelsea Handler, comedienne, Jewwess, lady who loves trying to show her breasts on Instagram as a means of empowering the female body, has gotten her boobs to stay up on Instagram. How? All it took was...
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